Did you see that article in the New York Times about decaf? You might have read that and been like, "I don't enjoy how caffeine makes me feel. But now DECAF IS BAD TOO?! I CAN'T EVEN!"
But I’m here to tell you: you CAN even. I promise.
First I'll briefly summarize the article, but in a thorough, non-cherry-picky way.
A coffee-loving, caffeine-avoiding reader asks the editor if decaffeinated coffee offers any health risks. The caffeine content of eight ounces of black gold is stated to range between 80 and 100 milligrams.
By the way, the FDA recommends an upper limit of 400 milligrams for a person in good health. Less if your doctor says so, or your body says so, for that matter.
And if you've read the article and its contents are as fresh in your mind as a new pot of the good stuff, skip ahead about five 'graphs.
Decaffeinated coffee effectively solves the reader’s problem: of liking coffee but not really being a stan for caffeine. Yet according to some advocacy groups like the Environmental Defense Fund, a chemical involved in some instances of decaffeination may present health complications.
So what's up with that? Should we be worried? Should LOKL be worried? Should I be worried?
Yo, holup. It's important to understand which chemicals raise eyebrows. The chemicals used to remove the caffeine have been given the not-so-cuddly names of methyl chloride and ethyl acetate.
Sounds like something you’d shove under your sister’s nose and say, “HERE, SMELL!” Just for a cackle.
So after being rinsed with these two delicious-sounding....phrases, the coffee beans are washed. Why? To remove the chemicals. Thank goodness for that!
So it’s like soap then! We wash our hands with soap and then rinse it off! But if a little soap is left behind, it doesn’t matter (besides the itch). No big deal, right?
Right, but that's soap. What if not all of the methyls and ethyls are removed?!
According to "experts," the amount left behind in those tasty decaf beans is so little, it poses no threat to the average drinker.
Simple enough.
“But wait!” you exclaim. “What's all this ‘for the average drinker’ business?! Who's NOT an average drinker?!”
Good question, my dear LOKL reader. You’re a smartie! That must be why we love you.
So who might be at higher risk from the minute, miniscule amounts of chemicals left in the decaf?
There is an answer, and it's this: people who are exposed to methylene chloride on a regular basis, like workers whose jobs include degreasing metals or stripping paint. These folks, who already must utilize a high degree of protection equipment, could be at further risk if they get exposed to more chemicals from their decaf coffee.
The amount in the coffee is still tiny, tiny, tiny...tinier than the center of the period at the end of this sentence.
But what if you’re one of these workers, or in close proximity to one? Or what if this worries you, still? We get enough chemicals in our environment. Who needs more?
What is a decaf-lover to do?!
Well, you're in luck. There is an alternative to these chemically treated decaf beans. It’s a unique chemical compound called Dihydrogen Monoxide, also known as:
Water. That’s right. Water-treated decaf. The most famous version of this has the pleasing-sounding name of:
The Swiss Water Process.
It's just pleasant to say. "Swiss Water process." Try it. I’ll wait.
And it's just as pleasant to drink decaf that's been processed with the swiss water process. What this means is that water--just water--was used to remove the caffeine.
All you need to do is check the labeling on the package. And if there is no labeling, check the brand or company's website. And if there's no info there either, maybe go with another brand altogether.
So how does this relate to LOKL, and by extension, you, our customer, friend, fam?
And now the moment you've been waiting for. Behold:
LOKL's reaction.
You'll be pleased to know that concerns about chemical decaffeination have exactly NOTHING to do with us! Because all of LOKL's specialty decaffeinated coffee is water-treated ONLY, and ALWAYS.
So why even reply to this NYT article if it's irrelevant?
Because we love decaf too, just like you! And we want you to feel good about getting the coffee that you love, whether you choose decaf for health reasons, time of day, or just because.
So drink up! With decaf, it's never too late!